august ten- two am

well it has been a while since I last wrote on here…and I’m currently writing this in the dark as everyone is sleeping

i find it so interesting to see how at night it’s such a different environment… its so quiet you can hear your own breathing(this is so random but I just like to see things in a different perspective sometimes or simply look at the little things like I said …random lol)

…anyways….

A lot has happened!

I graduated high school

(the most unexpected way… but I did it!)

I recently turned the big 18 and with that comes more responsibility

i got my permit the same day as my birthday

*here I come license!

I started my YouTube channel in the beginning of the year and currently have 34 subscribers

(it’s not a lot but I’m grateful that it’s slowly growing)

I get to vote

(don’t forget to vote y’all… we can’t have the same president!)

I’m starting college next week

I’ve been growing more stronger in my faith and building a stronger relationship with God(I feel more happier)

Overall I’m growing which is something that is inevitable

I’m learning and just starting my journey like any other person my age…

…. but…..

in a worldwide pandemic.

Not gonna lie it’s kinda cool to be living through history

It’s cool that what we are living through right now is gonna be part of textbooks in the future and teens that are gonna be our age are gonna be getting tested on the year twenty-twenty

…anyways…

stay tuned I’m a try to write more on here and like I said previously (or at least I think I did)

I doubt this blog will go far…and I’m not gonna set high expectations for this blog

but

All I care is that I make an impact on a person

Just one person:)

xoxo

jennifer

Success,

a long term feeling of accomplishment

due to one’s goals, comes with a price,

failure.

Although failure is the outcome or possible

factor of

success the thought of not fulfilling a goal is

frightening.

Failure can be a traumatizing and a frightening

experience, but once this experience is

overcome; success is a possible outcome.

Failure teaches oneself to not repeat the same

mistakes,

or it can simply open new doors to a variety of

opportunities.   

Fear of failure is a factor that plays strongly in

today’s society.

Many students share the same emotion of

failure once they go out to the real world

or simply don’t know what to expect.

Due to the fact that there may be no jobs for a

career in which you worked hard for.

The feeling of failure is

complex,

and occurs unconsciously, but there isn’t a full

explanation of where it comes from or why it

occurs.

Many psychologists have studied why these

atrocities occur, but no one has given a proper

explanation or a clear answer of why this

emotion occurs.

A possible reason may be to not disappoint

family members or friends. 

The fact that one feels the desire to satisfy

other people because one might feel like you

owe your success toward someone special.

Another factor or consequence in which this

fear may occur is having hypercritical parents

or maybe there was an experience of being

bullied which instills self doubt. Eventually

having a self doubt can lead to having the fear

of failure, but once this fear occurs oneself

starts to ask “what if” without actually

trying or taking action to see what the outcome is.

 Immigrants come to succeed, but in order for

that to happen failure needs to occur. Immigrant children

face this fear often, the fear that they are gonna fail and

disappoint their parents, the reason being

that their parents came to this country and left

everything behind such as family, friends

and a home for a better life for their kids as well as for

themselves, is a terrifying thought and feeling.

Especially

if you have to figure out how everything works by

yourself such as learning a new

language and going through an education system alone

and doing college without a parent’s guidance.

At the end of the day failure is part of life and

we have to learn from it no matter what,

failure can’t be escaped.

One never knows what the

outcome is if there is no risk toward

the specific goal.

For example artists that exist today, had a goal

of becoming a singer or actress one day they

obviously feared failing, but they used that fear

to succeed and reach their goals. This is the

ultimate goal, to conquer one’s fear and not ask

“What If”

But Rather Take Action.

Have you ever stopped to think how small we are compared to this whole universe and galaxies

Well I have.

I stop and think why me?

Why was I born?

Obviously it wasn’t a coincidence on why I am here.

So it’s obviously not a coincidence that you are alive today.

You have a purpose on this earth.

I believe you and I were created for meaning and not just to exist.

If you think about it, life is temporary for you to exist.

There are a certain amount of hours and our days are counted.

So why not live for meaning instead of live.

Waste your time on something that’s worth it and not just waste it.

Do something that you will be remembered by.

Risk that dream, because you’ll never know what happens until you try it.

It’s better to do something than stay wondering and ask “what if…”

Life is not easy, but no one said it would be.

But eventually everything you do becomes a memory and the sun will always come out in a cloudy day, no matter how hard the circumstance is.

“Is She Okay?”

This is one of many things family and friends would ask as she was rushed into the hospital and placed in a room being connected to many tubes and wires.

11 months old was the age I experienced a series of attacks.

Imagine holding a baby girl, and freaking out not knowing what to do to or how to help her out when she underwent these attacks. This is exactly what happened to my parents and brothers. They were scared for the unexpected.

At this point you may be wondering “What happened, what is she talking about?”

I was 11 months old, and no I don’t remember anything, the only things that are left behind are the memories and stories that are told by my fellow family members. The stories and memories of the series attacks of random seizures.

Imagine waiting for your only daughter, not knowing if she would get the chance live another day. This is one of a parent’s worst nightmare, and it sure was my parents’ worst nightmare.

They wanted their baby girl to stop suffering, they were desperate to find a solution, and they did.

God.

As I was laying in that hospital cube being only 11 months, it was spiritual warfare. The devil wanted me dead, he wanted to destroy my life, but God was like ” NOPE, SATAN NOT TODAY, I have a purpose for this lil one. She may not see it now but she eventually will.”

After the whole church was praying and fasting strongly for me, the results were seen.

I no longer had seizures, I was free from taking a pill for the rest of my life that would prevent me from getting these attacks. I was Healed!

The doctors were shook, “How could it be?” they all asked.

Well let me tell you, it was the power of God.